Link's Smashing Journal
by Linira
Summary: Prepare to witness the thoughts of an elite fighter! You are about to delve into the personal writings of everyone's favorite Hylian... too bad the journal's only used to write his opinions about the other smashers... odd, that. Avril555, AKA Nimine54 made m a new cover! Go follow her or something. Don't worry, I haven't abandoned this. Just waiting till I get my copy of Smash U
1. Samus Aran, The Fierce Huntress

**Samus**

_**A/N:This is, like, the fifth story I've submitted in 24 hours. Yay.**_

What can I say?

She's so... strong. She's also beautiful, occasionaly snarky, and has a great figure. But what sticks out most about her (to me, anyway) is how strong she is. She never gives up.

If you're one of her closer friends, she might show you her 'girly' side. Our friendship (hopefully more?) has progressed to the point that she will pet and fawn over Pikachu in front of me, not worried about me judging her. She has told me before that I'm the only person in the Mansion she can trust not to stare when she goes in her Zero-Suit.

Ok, maybe that doesn't seem so important, but it's **_Samus! _**It took me, Ganon, Zelda, Marth, and Master Hand to pull her off Falcon when he tried flirting with her.

Ugh, maybe I'm just being hopeful, but I think she might like me.

Anything can happen, right?

_**A/N:**_ _**Basically, this story will be Link's impressions of some of the Smashers. After I've done enough chapters, I'll write a story about someone finding it. Thanks for the reviews, guys. I'll expand this chapter later.**_


	2. Prince Marth, The Useful Royal

**Marth**

_**A/N: I'm continuing this, "for the love of all the is holy" (I have to needle people 'bout spelling mishaps, even if they were nice 'nuf to review.**_

He's cool enough. Everyone thinks he's gay, but that's his business, not mine. He's a rare example of royalty who actually fucking **DO** something, instead of leaving it all to a seemingly random hero. He's also one of the only people here who can touch me in a duel of swords, along with Ganon and Ike.

For someone who's not interested in women, he has a fair number of girls fawning over him at any given time. Maybe it's something to do with being a prince?

We have a little rivalry going on between us at the moment (Ganon called it sexual tension, and was subsequently stabbed) because of me beating him in the final round of last year's tournament, but it's nothing malevolent. (yet).

_**A/N: Not half bad, eh? I hope ya'll like it. Don't forget to review, and anonymous reviews are allowed. **_


	3. Lyn, the Beautiful Drunk

**Lyn**

What can I say? She's hot, she knows what to do with a sword. She's managed to deal with the guys around here (and Zelda).She doesn't understand technology, but that'll change with time, all of us from the more medieval areas went through it, too. I have to keep reminding the Guys (and Zelda) that she's only fifteen.

The main thing I remember of her was last month's party, where she may have imbibed a bit too much "Vodka", and drunkenly asked for my hand in marriage.

It would've been romantic, if she hadn't also decided to ask Samus, Sheik, Zelda, Pikachu, and Diddy Kong.

The fact that Sheik was also drunk, and accepted did nothing to diminish the hilarity. (She will never live this down, unless I die and somehow don't come back)

In short, I think she's more than qualified to become an actual smasher.

**_A/N: Really short, but I like it. _**

**_EDIT: Still short, but I made it a bit better._**


	4. The Alternate Me's AKA Toon and Young

**Toon/Young me**

They...confuse me. If they're me, why do they act like such little dorks? (I asked Zelda about this. She laughed. Hard.)

Also, the one with the huge eyes is always trying to impress me by beating Ganon, which he hasn't been able to do yet. I get blamed by Zelda when Ganon sends him to the Infirmary.

They redeem themselves by putting me in great standing with the women in the Mansion because they're "cute" or "adorable".

**_A/N:Short, but I'll make up for it by posting two more chapters today._**


	5. The Princess Zelda, AKA:Ganon Bait

**Zelda**

_**A/N: Just so you know, in this fic Link remembers everything that happened in Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess, as well as most other games because every Link is the same spirit, only reincarnated into a new body (this is why he's always a master of the bow and arrow, as well as the sword) It's confusing, I know.**_

Okay, Okay, I've already told you (or rather wrote in you) that Marth is a Prince who actually doe's something right? Well Zelda isn't like that: she doesn't help at all. The closest thing she did to helping me was healing Midna and sending Impa's niece (Sheik) to help me. Well, that and paralysing Ganon during our fights and...

Okay maybe she's more help than I give her credit for.  
>Might as well admit it; I had a crush on her for the longest time, even thought of proposing, but then I met Samus. She's cute, and remembers everything I do, so it's refreshing to have another Hylian believe me about my life.<p>

**_A/N: Sheik is next._**


	6. Sheik, The Lithe Sheikah

**Sheik**

**_A/N:Told ya I'd post three chapters today! I only use Sheik as a different character to spice up my fics:I do know she's really Zelda, and I like Dark Lord Link's idea of her having a physical phobia, so I'm gonna use it as well. He came up with it originally, not me._**

Alright, Zelda tells me that Sheik is actually **NOT **Zelda, and that she only made me believe that because she didn't want Ganon trying to get revenge on her after she came to me... or something like also assists Zelda in battles.

She's Impa's niece and an accomplished warrior, not too far from my level. She **HATES **touching people, she just can't stand it. She threatened my life once when I gave her a hug from behind at one of Ike's parties(I was fairly tipsy, perhaps even drunk.) but took it back when she turned around and saw it was me.

Did I mention she treats me like a royal? She always tries to help me in Brawls, whether or not I'm on her side, and bows whenever I meet her eyes. From what I can see through her ever-present shawl, she's a very attractive woman, and she treats Zelda like a younger sister. Come to think of it, how old is she?

**_A/N: I'll probably update this again after I update a few of my more neglected stories. Peach is next._**


	7. Peach, the Airy Princess

**Peach**

_**A/N:This story has single handedly gotten more reviews than all my other fics combined. Granted, most of those were from Dark Lord Link, but PockyGlameow, BanditRyu, Diabolos, And (at second place with three seperate reviews, Avril all deserve ! Yes indeed, SHEIK BE A WOMAN! And yes, Link will write his thoughts on every smasher (or at least those I can A. Remember and a good feel for their personality.)**_

Yet another example of useless royalty. Why are my lives so filled of these? (King Hyrule, Ruto, Zora King, Lord Jabu Jabu, the list just keeps growing). Anyway, she is annoyingly tidy, acts stupid, then bursts out an excessively sharp wit when you make her mad, or uses her silver tongue to get you to do...well, whatever she wants. (She even got Ganon to wash all the windows in the Mansion). Zelda seems to like her, inviting her to anything we do together (picnics, shopping, or whatever), even though Peach always seems to spend most of the time around me. When I mentioned this to Samus, she didn't talk to me for days. (I'll never understand women).  
>She's a surprisingly good fighter, floating in the air and making it impossible to hit her, and if you shoot something at her, she pulls out "Toad" to defend her.<p>

Wait... Where the hell does she pull that guy from!


	8. Ike, the Sentimental Merc

**Ike**

_A/N: Ok, ok I know Pikachu's request was first. but I'm doing a longer chapter with him, Jiggly, Lucario, and the trainer later ok? Lets hope that redeems me. Oh, and it's doubtful that I'll do a chapter for every single assist trophy, so don't get your hopes up._

He fights for his friends (and for the highest bidder, Mercs are like that). He seems alright, though a bit boastful for my tastes. He reminds me of me, (I'm such a poet) in that he doesn't take bullshit and kicks your ass when you screw with his group of friends. I don't know much about his past, because it's not my place to ask, but Zelda seems to know a lot compared to the rest of us, for whatever reason. Once again, it's not my place to ask about Ike's personal life, and I don't think he'd kidnap her (Zelda is a kidnappers best friend, or is that Princesse's in general?)

He's one of the guy's I'd trust to have my back, since he's good with his sword, but he could also be a threat, he's quick and can actually do fairly well against me in a duel.


	9. Bowser, The Polite Villian

**Bowser**

_**A/N: The Halloween fic'll be up soon enough, and it'll be long. By my standards. (2000-300 words, maybe.) And I know who voted for Taki, monsieur Dark Lord.)**_

I like him. He's polite, huge, and sane. Then again, I was blamed when he grabbed Samus's ass at that party. If he tries that with Zelle, he's dead. OR trophied, whichever happens first. Wait... I should've done that for Samus first! I've been the hero too long...

Anyway... Mario hates him, he hates Mario, Luigi's just there... It's all weird.

Huge and sneaky... need to watch this one.


	10. Meta Knight, The Reclusive Swordsman

**Meta-Knight**

Damn good swordsman, honorable, talented and reclusive. No one knows much about him, and asking Kirby just ends in a POYO! being his response. He never takes cheap shots or easy ways out. The only one around the Mansion who doesn't like him is sonic, who claims he is "creepier than the Tails Doll", whatever that means.

_**A/N:Sorry guys, but I don't know much about Kirby games, other than Kirby's personality. First person who can tell me what the "Tails Doll" is (correctly) gets a request, So review!**_


	11. Wolf, The Cuddly Badass

**Wolf**

**_A/N:Sorry for taking so long, I've been wrapped up in schoolwork, as well as blankets (I've had a nasty case of the flu)_**

Yet another Villian I get along with. He seems to be a pretty cool guy, apart from being a mercenary with no limits.(Also known as almost any mercenary) All in all, he gets along with everyone but Fox and Falco, for reasons unknown.(Yet another person with a secretive past, is this seeming like a cliche to you too, journal or is it just me?) He is a really good shot and destroys everyone with his Landmaster. He also gets bonus respect points for being the only wolf (Other than myself, of course) who can look cuddly and badass at the same time.


	12. Link, The Oblivious Elf

**Link**

**_A/N: Rewrote this, cause she seemed slightly bipolar, there. Hope y'all like it._**

Honestly, what is wrong with you? Why don't you realize that Samus isn't into you. I mean, you don't know I exist, but you notice every little thing she does. What in the world is your problem? Is it just basic man instinct to notice the, er, more generously endowed girls who jump around in a skintight suit instead of the proper lady going through an overly blatant courting routine practically right in front of you?

Ugh! Maybe this will help you notice that other people have feelings for you, even if you can't get over your lust for her. When you look past the harlot, keep in mind that I was there for you almost as long as she was.

I love you.

By the way, you left this in the common room. Please try to be more careful with it in the future.


	13. Pokemon, Gotta Talk About 'Em All!

**Pikachu, Quincy, Lucario, and Jigglypuff**

**_A/N: Credit to Mousemaster42 for naming the Pokemon Trainer Quincy. Check out her fic "The Game" for a good read._**

Okay, who the hell has been in my journal! Whatever, it was probably some stalker fangirl. Back to business.

Pikachu- Cuddly, cute, deceptively smart, crazily strong, close to Samus, always getting fawned over and did I mention cute? Seriously, this dude looks like a kitten had a baby with a puppy and the offspring mutated into a baby who drew a picture and gave it to his mom after writng "I love you on it with the L backwards. He's fricken adorable. The lucky bastard, all he has to do is say the first half of his name and every person in the room (Yours truly included) goes awww and starts petting him. It should be illegal to be this cute, 's "Pokedex" Says "It lives in forests with others. It stores electricity in the pouches on its cheeks." whenever he scans it.

Quincy-Cool little kid, pretty mature too, but I guess you'd need to be mature to be sent out of your home at ten years old. He apparently stopped some evil Team Missile or something like that from taking over "Kanto" He's not that impressive, to be honest.

Lucario-The only "Pokemon" around here who can talk in a language we can all understand. The little things a pretty powerful psychic, and he's beat me a few times in a brawl. He's absurdly strong, and having steel skin doesn't hurt 's "Pokedex" Says "By catching the aura emanating from others, it can read their thoughts and movements." whenever he scans it. Dunno what any of that really means.

Jigglypuff-A pink Puffball that sings to put people to sleep. It has a deceptively strong punch and somehow sends us flying by falling asleep in front of us. I blame the obnoxious, condensed, undiluted, Super-cuteness that erupts in front of us when it does so. The kid's "Pokedex" says "When it wavers its big, round eyes, it begins singing a lullaby that makes everyone drowsy." when he points it at him. Once again, no clue what all that means.


	14. Mr Game and Watch, the Odd Little Guy

**Mr. Game and Watch**

**A/N: Hey guys. Just got my first Wii and a copy of Brawl, so my SSB fanfics might be better from now on. Also, I got Tales of Symphonia Dawn of the New World, so if anyone wants to make a request for that game, be my guest! (I'm fresh out of ideas.) This was done for a request made earlier today, so it'll be done quick (I hope).**

He's a two dimensional... thing.

He can't talk, is always beeping, and occasionaly turns into an octopus. Whats not to love? Oh, he also doe's all of the Mansion's cooking, and he's pretty good. So... yeah.

He's so flat, when he turns around sideways he disappears. Personally, I think he's funny, but he freaks Zelda out (almost everything does.) I asked Peach why she thought Zelda got the willies from him, but she was glaring at Samus (for whatever reason) and didn't answer.

**A/N: Sorry, no one knows much about this lil guy.**


	15. Olimar, the Little Captain

**Olimar**

**_A/N:__ Right, never played the Pikmin (Pikman?) games, so I have no clue._**

Right, him. Yeah, I have no clue. He's tiny, doesn't talk, and uses even tinier things (that pack a suprisingly strong punch) to attack. In all honesty, he annoys the piss out of me in Brawls by being so tiny that he sneaks up on you, grabs a home-run bat, and sends you into the bleachers. He's really odd, but generally like throughout the Mansion, simply because he can't say anything against anyone. Oh, he always seems to hang out with Falcon and Falco, so thats... something.

_**A/N: Sorry it's so short you guys, but I'm having a really hard time getting a feel for this guys personality. I might update this chapter later if I get a better feel for him.**_


	16. Mario, The Jack Of All Trades

**Mario**

_**A/N:Hey guys, if anyone needs a beta reader just ask. Also, Happy New Year! And sorry for taking so long, I had exams to do.**_

We used to hang out every now and then, but recently he's been giving me dirty looks. I tried asking Luigi about it, but he just gave me a "I can't believe you" look. I have, no idea whats going on around here anymore...

He's a good guy, and he seems to have done EVERYTHING at one point or another. Doctor, referee, baseball player, soccer player, kart racer, you name it, he's done it. Also, acording to Peach, he's also a "major Brony." No clue as to what a Brony is, and everyone I ask just laughs. Except for Samus, who told me to ask a "Pinkie Pie."

Is it just me, or is everyone in this place crazy?


	17. Wario, the Smelly Guy

**Wario**

**_A/N:You guys... really hate_ bronys... Now I just have to exploit that.**

This guy, I really can't stand him. At all. He's fat, lazy, unhygenic, and attacks with his... uh... "broken wind" Call me effeminate if you wish, but thats just gross. Also, he 's a perv. And a creep. And a jerk. And he's constantly ogling Samus (Granted, so am I, But...) He stinks up the whole mansion, eats all the food, and acts like an overgrown Ape. Wait... that might be an insult to Donkey Kong...


	18. Sonic, the Speedy Hedgehog

**Sonic**

**_A/N:Ah bronies... you're so wonderfully hated..._**

This guy is fast. Like really fast. He's faster than The Flash on meth, quicker than Samus in her Zero-Suit, swifter than Fi's calculations. He can be annoying (You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow You're too slow )But he makes up for it by being generally awesome. He's always willing to help someone out, and it's hillarious to watch him try to swim. That, and the fact that Peach tends to treat him like a badly-behaved house-pet. She seems to be in some kind of a funk recently. Maybe I should try to cheer her up?


	19. Pit, The Innocent Angel

**Pit**

**_A/N:Check out my profile, theres a poll that involves this story. I need votes._**

He's a good kid. Might be because he's literally an angel, but he is a good kid. His devotion to his Goddess is amazing, though the rumor is that his loyalty is due to puppy love. I wouldn't doubt it. He's easily one of the best archers in the mansion, nearly on par with Zelda ( this places him at number four, behind me and Sheik.)

It's doubtful that he'll ever manage to esape the fangirls who surround him after each match. (Trust me, I know) Also, he never flies, outside of matches. I wonder why. If I had wings, I'd fly all day.


	20. Dark Link, The Insufferable Bastard

**Dark Link**

**_A/N:Check out my profile, there's a poll that involves this story. I need votes. Sorry about the delay chapter done by request. You should make a request._**

My worst enemy. He's faster, stronger, and an excellent swordsman. He nearly killed me every time we fought against each other. Ganon created him from darkness, or something. He's supposed to be my evil counterpart, or my evil doppelganger, but he really sucks at imitating me (even in the dark.)

Master Hand brought him into the tournament for a special "fan wishlist" match, and he's been my training dummy ever since. Samus and I had to fight him and "Dark Samus" again recently, and Dark Link has been hanging around Dark Samus's room since. You don't think...

Nah.


	21. Mewtwo, The Psychic Badass

**Mewtwo**

**_A/N: Alright guy's, I'm posting two more new chapters because someone posted a review for every previous chapter, and made a couple requests. Reviews motivate me. A lot. Hint, Hint._**

This guy was incredible, he joined the last tourney and obliterated almost everyone before Samus took him out. His psychic powers made Ness look lke a pushover, and I saw him lift Giga Bowser with his mind and toss him like Snake would a cigarette.

No one knew anything about him, except for the fact that he was a Pokemon that could talk.

All in all, he was one hell of a smasher, and I think that most, if not all, of the fans were sad to see him go.


	22. Snake, The Explosive Spy

**Snake**

**_A/N: Reviews motivate me. A lot. Hint, Hint. Love you guise._**

One of the new guys in the tourney. From what I've seen so far, he's a badass. For one thing, one of his favorite attacks is to fire an RPG at the ground in front of him. A fucking RPG. Not to mention his wide array of explosives, and other things that go boom. Things that go boom are amazing.

Apparently he's been making moves on Samus and Zelda. Either he has a death wish, or he's just not learned that Sam is mine... or that Zelda is someone I'd kill over.


	23. Team StarFox, the Furry Brigade

**Team StarFox**

**_A/N: Reviews motivate me. A lot. Hint, Hint. Love you guise. This chapter done by request._**

Fox-An overall cool guy, manages to keep everyone from murdering everyone else. Not an easy task, either. He always seems to want to take command, and I think it's just in his nature. Yet another Smasher with a hidden past... Always manages to prevent Falco and Wolf from getting killed. Barely. Personally, I always thought he seemed a bit bossy.

Falco-An over-arrogant asshole who wants everything his own way. The only thing keeping him from being brutally killed/torn to pieces/burned at the stake is Fox. Asshole.


	24. Lucas, the Shy Psychic

**Lucas**

**_A/N: Sorry for taking so long. I'll post a fic related to this one one day, called "Revenge." Keep a eye out, okay?_**

Generally a quiet kid. From what I've seen, he tries to keep the other kids in line, but usually succumbs to peer pressure from Ness and one of the other Links. (Assholes)

Knowing the standard around here, he's probably got a tragic past, involving dead parents in some way, shape, or form. He, (like most of the other kids,) has semi-accepted Peach as their mother-figure, and quite a few have taken to me as a father-figure, according to Zelda. (In Sheik's words, "Din help those poor kids")

Lately, he's been taking leadership over the group of kids, convincing them to do more responsible things. Zelda swears that he's trying to impress me, and if he is, he's accomplished his mission.


	25. Ness, the Whiz Kid

**Ness**

This kid's bright. Like, extremely intelligent. The only ones in the Mansion that compare are Zelda and Lucas. As in, so bright that a chess game between him and Zelda ran on for seven hours, and only ended because he got hungry.

He tends to be the leader of the kids, when Lucas isn't around and the other me's are away. Whenever he leads, the kids tend to find themselves in trouble. Like the time they decided to "Defeat Giga Bowser and find Fame and Fortune!

Really though, he's been around as long as Samus and I, and I don't see him leaving anytime soon. We used to watch over him, since everyone else was preoccupied with their own business, and he needed some friends. Zelda seems to have taken him under her wing...

Poor kid.


	26. Diddy Kong, the Failure

**Diddy Kong**

**_A/N:Redid this because shitty chappy was shitty._**

I hate him. He's honestly my least favorite competitor, and I sincerely hope he drops out of the tournament. He's not even a challenge, he's just annoying. I mean, look, I understand that our rooms are side by side, and it's easy to get confused sometimes, but waking up to a screaming monkey in your room splattering... _things_ on your walls is an experience that would infuriate anyone. I tried to talk Peach into making him clean it, but she said something about not wanting to end up like Pauline and made me clean it myself. Honestly, the things I have to put up with in this place...

But that's nothing compared to what the little bastard did last week. I don't think poor Charizard will_ ever_ be the same.

And then there's what he did to Mario's room last week, but at least he smacked him around a bit.

It seems like he's done something or other to everyone at one time or another, and he's one of the less-liked people around here because of it. Granted, painting all of Ganon's armor bright pink was a nice touch, but still, if he and Ganon were in a Brawl with me, and my Ray Gun only had two charges left, I'd shoot Diddy twice, and people would _cheer._


	27. Donkey Kong, the Enigma

**Donkey Kong**

**_A/N:Right, sorry I haven't updated in forever and a half. My school has exams, my mom's in the hospital, and I've been sick myself. In short, life has been kicking my ass._**

He's... a monkey. Or, an ape, really. He doesn't seem to have a personality besides alternately liking/disliking Mario.

In all honesty, I can't tell if he's an intelligent creature or not. He seems to care about Diddy Kong a lot, and they hang out together mainly, which is why I don't know anything about him.

Eeyup.


	28. ROB, the Robotic Troll

**R.O.B.**

**_A/N:Hey, I'm alive! How bout that. Long story on why I've been AWOL, but the good part involves me not dying!_**

I honestly have no clue. One day, I'm fighting Samus and Zel, and this little "Robot" (that's what Samus yelled) comes out of nowhere to attack us, and launches me half way across the Bridge of Eldin! . We just kinda accepted it into the Brawl, and Ko'ed it, no problem. (I won, of course.)

Afterwards, Hand claimed that it was supposed to be a surprise last-minute addition, and I may have lost my temper. But then, the damned thing started showing up in every other place I went, and claimed that it was "sent from a point in the future, to protect and train you, in preparation for the greatest battle this world has ever seen."

I'll admit, the thing knew how to appeal to my ego. Until I found out that the thing had told everyone in the Mansion the same story, effectively keeping me from bragging.

Fucking robots.

_**A/N: Meh. Not my best chapter. Also, I replaced Lyn's chapter (#3), and made it slightly better, as well as completely rewriting Link's chapter (#12) Check them out, if you wanna.**_


	29. Douglas Falcon, The Charitable Smasher

**Captain Douglas Falcon**

**_A/N: I went this far without talking about the most memetic character in recent history? Oops._**

I like this guy. He's pretty cool, and doesn't afraid of anything. Honestly, though? He's a real softy who doesn't talk much. He yelled out his attack once, and the rest was fans eat that narmy "Falcon PAWNCH!" stuff up.

He likes to have fun with the fans, and he's done things for charity before. For instance, he keeps donating his Racing Winnings to the Make a Wish foundation, and we've had kids come up to us in public before, asking for autographs or stuff like that, and he just stops whatever he's doing, goes into full "Captain Falcon mode" and starts signing things left and right. Honestly, he's about the nicest guy I know.

Maybe I could do the whole "Shouting your attacks" thing?

TRIFORCE SLASH! FINISHING BLOW! SPIN ATTACK!

Nah.


	30. Yoshi, the Slurpasauraus

**Yoshi**

**_A/N: Right, sorry about the delay, school and shit. Also, could whoever wrote the review by "A Crinkly Panda" send me a PM? I'd like to talk to you in depth, as you're the only one who has sent me a negative review for this, and I could use the perspective. In a related note, don't be afraid to leave negative reviews, especially with a way to PM you. I like to get reasons for them, and like I said, I need the perspective of someone who dislikes the fic, or parts of it._**

**_TL;DR:Go ahead and be negative, I need the perspective._**

He's like a dodongo, but much cuter. And he doesn't breathe fire. As much. In all honesty, he reminds me of Epona, always so gentle and loyal...

Except for the part about slurping you up with his tongue, then spitting (in lieu of any other term) out in an eggshell. Pretty sure Epona doesn't do that.

Seriously though, why does he do that? How does he do that? What possible reason could there be for that? I mean, it doesn't hold anyone for more than a second or two.


	31. Kirby, the Adorable Blob

**Kirby**

**_A/N: Triple post today, sue me. _**

**__**He's, uh... Pink. And squishy. And sproingy. And adorable. And cuddly, I'd suppose.

He has a nasty habit of eating everything. Everything.I've seen the adorable little guy chow down on a Bob-Omb. He even eats the rest of us in Brawls, which somehow allows him to gain -adorable- little replicas of everyone's equipment. (Also, when he swallowed Snake, he got the most adorable little goatee!)

I mean, sure he was tossing grenades at me, sure he won, but damn that was adorable.

Oh, and then there was that time he swallowed R.O.B., and kept going "Beep!"

And then... well, never-mind. I could go on all day.

_**A/N: Adorable isn't overused at all, why do you ask?**_


	32. Ganondorf, the Demon King

**Ganondorf**

**_A/N: Huh, I haven't done a chapter on him._**_** Weird.**_

My old nemesis. We've fought more times than I can remember, and I haven't lost yet. (Well, except for in Brawls, but those don't count.)

I still remember the first time we fought, with him coming back to life after dropping a fucking castle on me, then going all one-winged angel, and growing to the size of the castle we just destroyed, and...

Well, long story short, I stabbed him in the head, and Zelda went all Light beam on him.

And then there was the most recent battle we had, With Midna and I kicking his giant-form's ass again, then Zelda and I chasing the bastard and shooting him with a crapton of Light arrows, and then I finally managed to get the bastard in a stand up fight. Which ended in me stabbing him in the chest wth the Ending Blow my past self may or may not have taught me. (I'm a bit iffy on the details) (Fucking Reincarnation.) Granted, I managed to distract him (with my fishing pole, somehow)

Hell, even my toon self managed to kill him. (Stabbed him in the damned brain, man. That kid really is me.)

Honestly, the guy has to be crazy. Why would he leave the whole group of women that he controlled, just to conquer Hyrule? Hell, I'd have stayed in the desert and...ah... "hung out" at my fortress.

Wait... the desert...

Oh! That's why he was so wary of the fishing rod! He'd never seen one before! For all he knew, it could've been some megaweapon.

I've gotta go rub his face in this.


	33. King Dedede, the Greedy ol' Bastard

**King Dedede**

He's a giant penguin, or something. He seems to be the closest thing to a nemesis Kirby's got. He gets along really well with Meta Knight, and hasn't been an ass to me yet.

I'm not sure, but he might have actually saved all our asses after Tabuu took us all out.

He seems really greedy, and he eats all the food, but overall, he seems to be more of a jerk with a heart of gold.

That being said stealing all my rupees was _way _out of line, and he managed to get off without cleaning duty or anything, but at least Peach made him return them. I swear, that girl is the real one in charge of this place, Master Hand be damned. Thank Nayru Zel and her are friends, so I stay on her good side without much work.


	34. The Ice Climbers, Popo and Nana

**Ice climbers**

To be honest, I just learned Nana's name the other day. I used to think-and this is pretty dumb, but stick with me- that they were the same kid in two different coats, and Hand just cloned him, for whatever reason. Anyway, Big-Eye Me invited me to his-mine-our-whatever birthday party. (His words, not mine.) So, like I was saying, when I got there, he introduced me to her. Since then, I've spent a good amount of time with her and her brother. As I've been told almost daily by Big-Eye Me, Nana is kind, and pretty, and smart and-blech. Never could stand the lovey-dovey stuff. Anyway, she really is a sharp kid. Could give Zelda a run for her money, though she's not as much of a smart-ass. Dunno about pretty, but she's a cute kid, I guess. Her brother kind of gets on my nerves with how highly he thinks of himself, but he's an alright kid.

I remember the little bastard pulling all kinds of pranks last year, though. And I'm willing to bet Big-Eye Me and Nana were in on it too. Switching out Quincy's pokeballs before our match last week was pretty funny, though.  
>I mean, they left him with this little fish that just sort of flopped around for a few minutes while I died laughing. (Literally. Quincy shoved me off the edge while I was distracted.<p>

_**A/N: In the process of making this fic better now, hopefully the finished product will greatly surpass the current version.**_


	35. Wii Fit Trainer, the Newcomer

**Wii Fit Trainer**

_**A/N: Right, first ficlet about the new characters. Kinda nervous. Speaking of first fics, go give a buddy of mine some love, alright? He really does know what he's doing, he doesn't make spelling/grammar mistakes, and he's actually quite hilarious. He's a friend of mine, and I help him brainstorm his fic from time to time, so hopefully between the two of us, it'll be devoid of plotholes. **_

_**Also, he ships Link/Samus. So there's something else awesome about him.**_

_** s/9829017/1/Smash-Bros-Altercation**_

_**(Just search for Smash Bros Altercation)**_

_**Kay, enough of that, on to the fic.**_

That bitch! I was just minding my own business, playing some Fit with Mario and Kirby, and she just comes and pushes us over. And she has the nerve to come and plop down in my lap at breakfast, while I'm just trying to eat Samus and ogle my bacon.

Uhm, right, other way around... But I digress.

She's only been here about a week and a half, so maybe I should withold judgement, but she just seems so upfront. She tells you exactly what she wants, when she wants it, and isn't afraid to throw down to get it. Which is refreshing, when she literally smacks the mustache off of Wario to get the last soda, but less refreshing when she sits in your lap in the middle of breakfast and gives you an explicit declaration of intent.

On a related note, I was informed that I'm cute when I blush.

Anyway, Samus really laid into her about saying things like that around other people, then WFT said started to say something, but Peach jumped into it.

To be honest, journal, I think Peach might have a crush on Samus. It's sweet and all, but I saw her first.

Anyway, I left not long after, and went to reveal this to Zelda. She laughed a while, then told me I'm too cute for my own good. Which is nice, I guess...


	36. Rosalina, the Space Cowgirl

**Rosalina**

**_A/N: Decided to write a new chapter. Also, made a cover for the fic. It'll probably be replaced later if I decide to improve on it._**

The newest arrival to the Mansion. She... kinda weirds me out. I gather that Mario and Peach know her, so I'm assuming shes a princess of something. Mario said she came from Space, so maybe she's that country's princess. Mentioned this to Sam, and she laughed, but whatever. Anyway, she seems to get along really well with Mario and Luigi, but I haven't seen her with Peach much, for some reason.

Somehow or another, she has a little Pokemon thing. Looks sort of like a chubby star. I asked Quincy what it's name was, but he just laughed kind of smugly. Anyway, while I was shoving his head into a toilet, Peach walked in and started yelling, so now I'm stuck cleaning the woods of litter with her this Saturday.

Of course, she made me apologize, even though I would've anyway, and Quincy seemed to forgive me. He also told me that Rosa's thing is not a Pokemon, but is actually some kind o creature from Space, like a Goomba or something.

Anyway, he's being surprisingly cool. He even offered to catch me a "Lopunny" or a "Gardevoir" since I'm "Probably into that kind of stuff" and because he thinks I like Pokemon. I guess it'd be pretty cool, but he couldn't stop laughing. Maybe I-

Wait a damn minute.

That was the MALE bathroom, why was Peach going in it?

_**A/N: Less focus on Rosa, I know, but I kind of like this one. And yes, Link thinks Space is a country. I'm planning on writing out Link and Peach's Saturday together later, maybe on Saturday.**_


	37. Palutena, the Protective Goddess

**Palutena**

_**A/N:**** I'm back! Palutena and Pacman were confirmed... so of course, I gotta do a chapter on the new girl in Smash Bros. Remember that you an follow my tumblr for updates and news about my fics, as well as just to talk to me. I'm open to questions, or ideas, or anything really. Check my profile, it's got a link to**_** it.******

So, we got another new arrival the other day... Palutena, the Goddess of Pit's world. I'm more than a little bit worried about her being here, as shes already managed to kick my ass that time she found out about the laptop incident with Pit. Of course, it wasn't really my fault, but that's just how stuff happens. Anyway, not ten minutes after se got here, Wario decided to pull a prank on Pit, and she exploded, screaming and slinging magic after him, until Master Hand managed to calm her down.

In a mysterious and certainly unrelated event, every onion Wario has tried to eat since then has literally exploded and shot out wasps as soon as he goes to take a bit. I actually saw the big guy crying yesterday.

Needless to say, I like her style.


End file.
